Why Thinking You’re Superman Might Get You Slapped

The Fine Line Between Confidence and Chaos

Let’s talk about overconfidence

Yeah, the thing that makes you believe you can win an argument with your African parents or cook jollof the first time without following a recipe.

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And if you’ve ever thought, “I can handle this, I haven't done it before but it can't be that hard,” only to end up in a situation where life slaps you like Egbon Adugbo at the junction, this one’s for you.

Now, before you say, “Not me, I’m just confident,” let’s unpack that because there’s a fine line between confident and I-just-made-a-fool-of-myself.

But here’s the truth: overconfident people rarely recognize their own overconfidence. Even when confronted, they rationalize it away. To them, their belief in themselves feels natural, even justified.

But before we dive deeper into overconfidence, let’s clarify what it means to be confident.

Confidence: A Healthy Belief in Yourself

Confidence is what you feel when you’ve truly mastered something. It’s the quiet assurance that comes from hard work, practice, and self-assessment. It’s not arrogance; it’s knowing you’ve prepared well enough to trust yourself.

Confidence brings out the best in us. It’s the force that allows us to step forward and perform without hesitation.

It’s why a person with beautiful handwriting can boldly pen a letter to their crush, knowing it will make a good impression. Unlike someone like me, who might shy away because of a chicken scratch signature.

A confident person doesn’t assume they can do everything. Instead, they know exactly where their strengths lie and trust themselves in those areas..

Overconfidence: The Illusion of Unlimited Ability

Overconfidence is a different story.

It’s not just trusting your abilities, it’s overestimating them, sometimes to an absurd degree. Overconfident individuals believe they can tackle anything, even without experience or preparation.

Picture this: a first-timer at the gym skips the small dumbbells and heads straight for the heaviest weights, convinced they can lift like a pro. We all know how that ends.

Overconfident people often dismiss the importance of effort and time. To them, success isn’t about the process, it’s about believing they can do it, simply because they decided to.

I remember walking out of an exam hall with a classmate who confidently declared he’d scored at least 95/100. Meanwhile, I was just relieved to have finished the exam after a chaotic morning that involved pushing a broken-down bus on my way to school.

When the results came out, we both got A’s. But while his score was in the 70s, mine crossed 80. He was good, but his overconfidence had blinded him to reality.

The Hallmarks of Overconfidence

- Shifting blame: Success is always their effort, but failure? It’s someone else’s fault, the judge, the crowd, the weather, even the food they ate. They struggle to accept responsibility when things go wrong.

- Assuming control over everything: Confident people know they can control their input, not the outcome. Overconfident people believe they can control both.

- Feeling superior without basis: Overconfidence often leads to an inflated sense of superiority, even in areas they have no expertise in they are automatically the boss in their head.

Why Overconfidence Matters

Confidence is a powerful tool, but overconfidence can be a dangerous trap. While confidence drives preparation and growth, overconfidence blinds us to our own flaws, leading to avoidable mistakes.

How to Manage Overconfidence

1. Reflect: Think back to moments when you’ve been called overconfident. Were they right? Identify patterns and take note of areas where overconfidence might be holding you back.

2. Seek Feedback: Ask for honest opinions from people you trust. Regularly checking in with others can help you gauge if you’re coming across as confident or overconfident.

3. Acknowledge Your Limits: No one is perfect. Admit what you don’t know, and focus on improving rather than pretending to have all the answers.

4. Practice Humility: Celebrate your wins, but avoid comparing yourself to others. Your success isn’t about being better than everyone else, it’s about achieving your personal best.

5. Prepare for Setbacks: Even the greats like Michael Jordan, didn’t win every game. Expect challenges and plan for risks; it’s a normal part of life and growth.

6. Adopt a Growth Mindset: Always be open to learning and evolving. Embrace the process rather than obsessing over outcomes. For more, check out my newsletter “Think Like a Plant.”

Confidence is your ally, but unchecked overconfidence can quickly become your greatest obstacle. Strive for balance: trust in your abilities, but stay grounded in humility and reality.

With cold hands

Lawal Abdulqayum